Tag Archives: Loss

Childhoods revisited


There are many milestones that mark a person’s life, some are happy and some are not.  To realize that we are an amalgam of all of life’s experiences is to embrace that life is not a bowl of cherries.  Life, it turns out is often at its most important when we are letting go.  Sure the good times are special and help in determining who we are…but the difficult time are there to prove who we have become. 

Now I know that everyone handles the good and the bad in different ways.  We are all individuals who help to shape the world around us and make it more interesting.  If we were all to live within our “Strawberry Fields Forever,” we would never get the chance to make the mistakes, the lessons in life that we learn from.  Perhaps we would not be able to love to the fullest because we had not experienced loss.  Would we be able to enjoy the highs if we had not lived through the lows?

Grab hold of all the moments that you have, experience them to the fullest, grow and give of yourself to those you love.  We have such a short time together, experience with an open heart and remember that we are all just human, no one is perfect.  Make sure that you take a firm hold of your life, be in charge of your feelings, and always put yourself in someone elses shoes before you decide how to feel about them.

So living in “Strawberry Fields” might be nice and nostalgic, it does not represent what our experience is supposed to be.  Like the saying goes “It’s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there.”  Live in the moment, let life sweep you away on this journey of highs, middles, and lows.  Ride that big mother of a wave like it is the best one of the set and don’t look back to see what is coming…just go for it!

Have  a ROCKIN’ day, Mama

Today in ROCK history: 1967 – The Beatles release “Strawberry Fields Forever.”


Don’t look so sad…a journey with death.


For my Mom: Kris Kristofferson’s For the Good Timeshttp://youtu.be/Ovb_iRWcqsc

Life is a beginning, a middle, and an end, the time frame for each of us is different.  Even when we are fully aware of the end, it is almost always still a shock to our soul.  We are not equipped to breeze through the end of our loved ones life.  No matter how much lead time we have, no matter how long we have been preparing, our minds, hearts and soul are left wanting. 

Each time that I have dealt with loss has been traumatic for more reasons than the loss itself.  My realization must than be that death brings out the worst in many people.  For reasons, sometimes obvious and sometimes not, there always seems to be more obstacles in death than there are in any other time of our lives.  Now maybe it is just me…but I don’t think it is.

As I just shared with my loving cousin this morning: Today I will just focus on the love I have in my life and smile at my sorrow. My meditations have taught me to live in the present moment as it is the only moment we truly have, yet when times like this are upon us, it is hard to follow the path of our own philosophy.

I guess that stumbling through these difficult times is the learning experience that is supposed to enrich us as human beings, I say they just suck.  None of us are perfect, our views of others are also flawed, how can we truly know someone when we are constantly learning about ourself.  If we are always changing and evolving, the best that we can hope for is that those who love us, will always love us, not always the case in life, but we can still hope!

As a teen I used to be woken up on weekends to my Mom blasting Kris Kristofferson on the record player and singing loudly with each song.  I would toss and turn in bed, wanting nothing more than a few more hours of sleep.  Finally I would have to give into that music, get up and start my day.  If you are reading this, please take a moment to listen to this song, and lovingly think about all the many ways that your parents tortured you.

Have a ROCKIN’ day, Mama



I find myself in a position that I have not been in very often in my life, I’m not working.  Now I started working when I was 15 to have spending money since my Mom did not believe in allowance.  Of course this does not include all the years I was a babysitter before I was 15. 

So now that I am home all the time, I found that I need a companion.  Our dog died over the summer and I was sure that I would not have a dog again.  It is just so hard to loose your buddy!  Now that I am home alone so much, my husband works long hours as a teacher, I decided to get another dog.  Puppies are sure cute but too much work, I wanted to adopt a grown up dog that needed a good home. 

I guess the largest dog I have ever had before was a German Shepard and that was a long time ago.  Our most recent dog, Otis, was a yellow lab.  We found a six year old Great Dane and although we have had him for just over a month, I just LOVE this big lug.  He is perfect for me as he is so mellow and doesn’t need much activity.

So to paint a picture in your mind, we live in a beautiful older home built in 1940.  Our home is 1200 sq. ft. We are both big people, I’m 5′ 10” and Mark is 6 ‘4″ and Zues is huge…he weights more than I do, he is 150lbs.  I have to laugh when we are all trying to move around the house at the same time…can you say traffic jam…

I’m so glad that we found this fellow, he is perfect!  Now I have a buddy to talk to and he follows me around like he is attached to my hip, or maybe I should say my waist.  We have always been dog people and I guess we always will be.  Have a ROCKIN’ day, Mama

Today in ROCK history: 2005 – Pearl Jam singer Eddie Vedder, Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl, Queens Of The Stone Age leader Josh Homme and Beck perform at a tsunami-aid benefit concert in Los Angeles. Proceeds go to Music For Relief, an organization founded by Linkin’ Park to assist the Red Cross.

People are Strange…Days are Strange…


My beautiful cousin Jill…gone too soon!

I’m sure that we all have Strange Days every now and then, I prefer to have them all the time!  Normal sucks, I have always been a bit strange and I like it.  Life is so short, we never know how long we have, so why not have fun while you have the chance. 

Many people, like Jim Morrison, leave us too soon.  To me, it is strange to think that so many people who die too early often leave the biggest impact on others.   Now that is not to say that those who are around for a long life don’t also have a huge impact…

When I think about the music of so many great artists who left us long before their time, I think how lucky we are to even have had them to begin with.  This applies to our own loved ones too.  We are so lucky to have the experiences that we have had with family and friends.  They leave us with memories, that like music, we can always enjoy. 

However you feel and whoever you’ve lost, honor them by remembering them as they were, loving, funny, smart, talented, giving, and yes, even STRANGE!

Today in ROCK history: 1968 – The Doors score again when their sophomore album “Strange Days” goes gold.

Look at your game, Girl


“The man that hath no music in himself, Nor is not moved with concord of sweet sounds, is fit for treasons, stratagems and spoils.” William Shakespeare


Quite the diverse range of topics here: Shakespeare, Guns N’ Roses, and Charles Manson. While I am currently viewing, discussing and have Hamlet as my upcoming reading, after I finish Frankenstein, my husband is finishing  a Hamlet unit (he is an English Teacher) with his AP Lit class. Since I did not participate much in H.S., I am making amends now by doing all the reading from his Freshman, Sophomore and AP Lit classes. I was never one to do what I was told or expected to do + the fact that I could get decent grades without much effort = not much achievement in school.

I hope I have since made up for those younger rebellious decisions but it did take a while before I realized that I was making a lot of bad choices. Now, I am able to look back, with some regret, that I did not fully embrace these school years…but that is another story.

Shakespeare: a man before his time, full of insight, who gave us the foundation for literature and life.

Guns N’ Roses: took a stand for something they believed in regardless of the kick-back, did something that would help the victim and said to hell with the repercussions.

Charles Manson: unwittingly wrote lyrics that were used for something good, good vs. evil – good prevails, GNR must still be having the last laugh about that!

I was not familiar with this song until today. As I look at the lyrics of the song, I think to myself, this somehow applies to me, it is relevant. My life, like so many others has been a series of ups and downs, sweetness and disappointments – peaks and valleys. If you do not have the highs and lows then you are living life on a level plane that just glides on until you one day die. Don’t let your life be a level plane, enjoy the peaks and endure the valleys, that is the gift of life. If you don’t have these in your life, you don’t feel the range of what we are supposed to feel in this world. The sweetness in life helps you to grow and to learn from the disappointments. The ups are far more enjoyable when you have been through the downs.

Learn something new everyday, about yourself, your family, your friends or the world at large. If you are interested, then you are interesting! Have a ROCKIN’ day, Mama

Today in ROCK history: 1993 – Despite protests, Guns N’ Roses say that their cover of Charles Manson’s “Look at Your Game, Girl” will stay on the album The Spaghetti Incident? Royalties from their recording will go to the son of a Manson family victim.

There’s a time for a living
Time keeps on flying
Think you’re loving baby
But all your doing is crying

Can you feel?
Are those feelings real?
Look at your game, girl
Look at your game, girl

What a mad delusion
Living in that confusion
Frustration and doubt
Can you ever live without the game?

The sad, sad game
Mad game
Just to say loves’ not enough
Even it can’t be true
Oh, you can tell those lies, baby, but you’re only fooling you

Can you feel?
Are those feelings real?
Look at your game, girl
Go on look at your game, girl

And if you can’t feel
And those feelings aint real
Then you better, stop tryin’
Or your gonna play cryin’
Stop tryin’
Or your gonna play cryin’
Stop tryin’

That’s the game
Sad sad game
Mad game
Sad game

Steppenwolf, my first concert…


My musical obsession started pretty young. Since I was the youngest in my family, a sister 5 years older and a brother 7 years older, I was exposed to a lot of different music early on. My brother played guitar and always had a band of some kind put together to play in his room or the garage, he loved ROCK. My sister had her own music, and although she also love rock music, her interests were more diverse and included a lot of genres including Reggae. My Mom also played music around the house and so you couldn’t help but hear it and respond to it too. From Elvis and Chubby Checkers…to waking up on the weekends to Kris Kristofferson blaring in my ears. Then there was me, I of course developed my own style of music, which mostly included anything you could dance to, along with all of the music my family loved.

So how did I end up at a Steppenwolf concert at 10 years old you might ask? Well now-a-days, people bring their kids to concerts all the time, but back then, not so much. This was a bribe that my older sister had to pay off. I found something in her purse (I won’t say what but I’m sure you can figure it out – you are pretty smart), and used it to make her take me to this concert with her.

Anyway, the long and the short of it is that I got to see Steppenwolf and go on that “Magic Carpet Ride.” That is one of the best memories I have of my sister…she died 7 years ago from cancer, so she is enjoying that “Magic Carpet Ride” full-time now! My brother, who influenced my musical taste and life a lot also died of cancer 2 years ago, so I’m sure that he has met up with John Lennon (his idol) and they have started a new band. Now I guess that I better mention my Dad too. He had the uncanny ability to sit and watch Name that Tune, an old tv show where you competed with another contestant to name a tune in so many notes. My Dad could beat everyone who ever appeared on that show. He was like an encyclopedia of knowledge about music. It always amazed me to sit and watch him casually name each song before anyone else could, “I can name that tune in 4 notes”. Of course, now comes the part where I say, my Dad has been gone for 28 years…he died of cancer too.

Now, I can’t leave out my beautiful cousin Jill, a couple of years ago she turned me on to Michael Franti. Now of course I had heard some of his popular songs and liked them, but her passion for him and his music touch me and I too became a Franti Fanatic. My husband and I took our oldest grandson to his concert last year at this time…it was incredible. We also had the experience of meeting him the night before at a local record store where he performed an acoustic concert for free and signed autographs, I talked to him about my cousin, and he knew her by name. She was undergoing treatment for cancer at that time and he asked me to send her something from him, he signed and personalized a poster, which she cherished. He also came out into the crowd the next day before the concert, since this was a “Family Matinee” and he loves kids…he like to come out and meet the fans. He had said “he would see me at the concert” when we talked to him the night before, he searched us out in the crowd and we got to take lots of pictures with him! He is one of the kindest and most loving REAL performers I have ever met. Again, I hate to say that we lost our loving Jill last month. Jill also got me into YOGA, which I love and everyday at yoga time, Jill and I are together in my mind, heart and soul. Thanks Jill for all the LOVE you gave to so many!

So music is part of my family now because all of my family loved music. I can hear a song, and think to myself…Dad loved this song, Ricky could play this song, Eva would be jammin’ to this song, Jill turned me on to this song. My Mom is still alive but has advanced Alzheimers…but she still loves music! Now I want to also mention my husband of 25 years…he is INCREDIBLE and treats me like a princess. He has turned me onto so much music in our years together. We go to lots of concert and get our ROCK on…I can’t hear KISS without thinking of him, and so many more bands that he & I love. We fell in love at first sight and have been “Happy Together” (one of my favorite songs when I was young) since the day we met.

Don’t forget to take a moment to check out my custom-made DIY ROCK items. http://www.wix.com/1_rockin_mama/1_rockin_mamas-unique-boutique

Today in ROCK history: 1968 – Both “Magic Carpet Ride” and the album that it’s from, “Steppenwolf The Second,” sit at #3 on the respective singles and album charts.

Does LOVE have a name?


If Love has a name, what is it? There are different types of love, but do we name them, and if we do is it to categorize love into nice files that fill our heart? Do we have different levels of love, and divvy it out until we are completely out of love, or do we possess infinite amounts of love that refresh throughout our lives… I do know for sure that my love for my cousin Jill, who recently lost her battle with cancer, was and still is an abundance of goodness. Jill always loved Bon Jovi, who have a hit song “You give Love a Bad Name“, whether this was one of Jill’s favorite songs or not, I do know that she gave Love; named or nameless, neatly categorized or wild and free, to the fullest level to so many people in her lifetime. Jill, you give Love a beautiful name, you are love…and I love you! In this short lifetime that we have, make sure that you love unconditionally…and allow yourself to be love in the same way. Jill taught me a lot of things, I miss her but still have her love and strength to hold onto. Shine on Jill, forever.

Today in ROCK history: 1986 – You Give Love a Bad Name (Bon Jovi) was a hit.